Small decisions and big consequences

Things are feeling a bit more normal now around here. As usual, though, I've somehow managed to get horribly behind in my classes. I'm trying not to make excuses for myself and just press on, but it's tough when things like being verbally abused and threatened by a tow truck operator set off my PTSD. There was a week or so where I was pretty much useless and just spent the day in bed - that's a big part of what's put me behind.

But no sense dwelling in the past. It is what it is, and nothing's going to change it. We just need to pick ourselves up and move along.

I've been giving a lot more thought to forgiveness these past days, partially because of a talk I heard while I was driving to church on Sunday.

W. W. Phelps is well known among Mormons as s being a friend of Joseph Smith, and author of many of the hymns contained in our hymnal - a dozen, to be precise. I haven't checked, but he may be the author with the most works in our hymnal, among which are "Praise to the Man", "The Spirit of God", "Adam-ondi-ahman", "Now Let Us Rejoice", "If You Could Hie to Kolob", and the modified version of "Redeemer of Israel" still used today.

But there were some rough times in his life. He was excommunicated three - one of which was for testifying against Joseph Smith in a trial that ultimately led to his incarceration in Liberty Jail.

Shortly after Joseph's release, however, he begged forgiveness from the prophet, to which Joseph famously replied, "Come on, dear brother, since the war is past, for friends at first are friends again at last."

It is that first hymn I mention that always strikes me when I think of Phelps's life - though at times very much at odds with those he worked with, even so much so as to be willing to testify against his friends in court, he recognized the error of his ways and returned. Were it not for Joseph's willingness to forgive - in spite of the many hardships that he had had to face as a result of what he surely felt was a betrayal - we would very likely not have many of the lyrics Phelps wrote - in particular "Praise to the Man", as this was penned shortly after Joseph and Hyrum were killed.

What a little thing, to forgive.

And what great blessings have come to millions because of that choice.

Well, it's 12:20 on October 12th, so I suppose that means I'm 27 now. The other thing I've been giving a lot of thought about is the lessons I've learned over the past year. At some future point I'll probably write them out, but for now, it's time for me to go to bed and wake up older.

Peace,
Mark